Truman: the birth story

I am still processing everything, but wanted to get this out while I still remember some things. I think I need to start a little before induction day to fully capture the event…

Our induction was scheduled for Friday, the 26th and about a week before that our OB wanted to start getting my cervix ready so that the induction would go more smoothly. On the Friday before the induction I was sent to the hospital for Misoprostol. They gave me an oral dose and I had to stay for about 3 hours after taking it. I felt a little crampy, but not much else. I hadn’t been having any contractions at this point.

On Monday I went back to the OB for another check and my cervix was “a little softer” but no real progress. They couldn’t get us in until Tuesday, so we went back to the hospital for another round of Miso at 9am. This time they gave it to me vaginally. The Miso started contractions and I was contracting pretty regularly, but the intensity was not very strong. They decided to keep me there for a while to monitor before releasing me around 5pm. My mom decided to fly into town early just in case I went into labor. The contractions continued until sometime after midnight.

On Wednesday I went back to the OB and my cervix was about 1cm and 50% effaced. He wanted me to have one more dose of the Miso. We checked in at 11am. The Miso started contractions again, but they weren’t as regular this time. They were about to release me after 4 hours, but then Truman’s heart rate started to decelerate with contractions. The OB on call was concerned and started talking about things like induction that night or c-section. I was worried about Truman, but felt that she was being a little premature bringing up c-section. And by this point, I was so sick of laying in that hospital bed that I felt like screaming. The OB ordered a bio-physical ultrasound to check on Truman and help determine what to do next. OK, fine. We ended up having to wait a couple of hours before they could even get us in to the sonographer. In the meantime, the OB decided I should have a fluid IV “just in case”. I hate IVs. It took two attempts to get the IV in and I was not happy. The ultrasound looked good and they finally sent us home around 10pm.

Thursday was Thanksgiving. I had to go in for an NST to make sure Truman was still doing OK. Fortunately they got me in and out in less than an hour. We spent the rest of the day waiting for family to get into town and just making sure all our bags were ready to go. We had a great time Thursday night visiting and eating “the last supper”.

Friday morning rolled around. We got up at 5am. I ate a bowl of oatmeal, hoping it would stick with me a while. We kissed Atticus goodbye and left for the hospital around 7am. Our check in time was 7:30am.

Last pregnant photo! 39w, 3d

By 8am they had my IV going with fluid and pitocin. My cervix was at 2cm and 80% effaced. Baby was at -3 station. At 8:15am our OB broke my water. Contractions started by 9am. Apparently I respond very well to pitocin. They started me at level 4 (whatever that means), but kept turning it down and sometimes off altogether. I think I spent most of the time at a level 1. The contractions weren’t too bad at first. I was able to manage pretty easily for the first couple hours. We decided to watch a movie while waiting for things to get moving, but we didn’t even make it through the credits before realizing that it was getting harder to focus and I needed to concentrate on labor.

The goal!

I couldn’t go very far due to the IV and contraction monitor, so I mostly labored in bed. I tried the birthing ball for a while and just standing. It was going OK until the nurse decided that I needed to stay in bed on my side. Truman’s heart rate was decelerating again and she wanted me in the position that he tolerated best, which was on my side. I was on my right side for about 45 minutes before my hip was hurting so bad that I couldn’t stand it anymore. Our nurse finally let me switch sides. By then contractions were getting pretty strong and I was having trouble tolerating them.

Around 12:30pm I told Dave that I was ready for the epidural. I had wanted to make it as far as possible before getting the epidural in hopes that it wouldn’t slow labor. I was pretty disappointed with myself for not making it further and cried when we told the nurse it was time. I was sure that I had only progressed a little. The nurse checked my cervix and found that I was at least 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. I was relieved that we had made it that far and our nurse was very reassuring. She ordered the epidural and started prepping me. She wanted to put Truman on an internal heart monitor so she could keep a better eye on him.

My mom showed up with Atticus for a visit right about this time and they had to wait in the waiting room until the epidural was in.

The anesthesiologist came in around 1pm and started the epidural. While leaning over for him to get it in, Truman’s heart rate went way down – I think around 80. The nurses put me on oxygen and had me lay down as quickly as possible. His heart rate went back up, but anytime I wasn’t on my side it would drop a little. They put the catheter in and also an internal contraction monitor. It felt good to get rid of all the bands on my belly, but now I had things stuck all over me. Plus I had to wear the oxygen for the rest of labor.

After the epidural I was feeling much better, and so relieved that I made the decision to get it. My mom brought Atticus in and we visited for a while. I was so happy to see him that I cried. I was missing him like crazy. After they left, my brother and sister-in-law showed up and visited for about an hour or so.

I was getting pretty tired and we decided to try to rest a little before the hard work started. I almost fell asleep when the contractions started changing. Even with the epidural I was starting to feel a lot of pressure down low. The nurse said that was a good sign. She checked my cervix and I was at 8cm with just a lip of cervix left. She called our OB and told him we were getting close. I couldn’t believe we were that close already. It was around 5pm.

The pressure kept increasing and by the time my OB got there around 6pm, I was starting to feel the urge to push. He checked my cervix and I was fully dilated, but still had a tiny lip of cervix left. They left us for about 20 minutes to see if it would go away completely, but it didn’t. My OB decided that it was soft enough that we could get started anyway.

I started pushing at 6:40pm.

Pushing is HARD. I felt like I was working hard with little progress. That was probably made worse by our nurse’s lack luster attitude. She kept leaving the room and seemed generally unimpressed with my laboring. I should mention here that we had an awesome nurse from the start whose shift ended RIGHT WHEN IT WAS TIME TO PUSH. Boo.

After about an hour and a half of pushing (ugh), the OB came in and said that both baby and I were exhausted (yes!) and that he thought it was time to offer some assistance. Truman was facing up instead of down, and that was slowing his progress through the birth canal. I was in quite a bit of pain even with the epidural. The pressure was intense, but my right hip was killing me. It had been giving me trouble throughout the pregnancy, and I think it was ready to be done! So Dr. H wanted to use forceps or the vac extractor. He said he had been trained on forceps. Dave asked me what I wanted to do, and I basically said, ” I don’t care, just get him out!”

Dr. H got prepped for delivery and prepared the forceps. I could feel a lot of pressure and just wanted to keep pushing even when there was no contraction. Dr. H told Dave that he wasn’t having to pull at all, but just used the forceps to direct his head. After a couple of minutes of non-stop pushing, his head started to come out. He got part way out and everyone stopped to watch as he rotated himself all the way around so that he was facing down before his head came the rest of the way out!

I don’t remember much about his shoulders and body coming out. I was just so relieved when his head was out. I think his body slipped out pretty easily in comparison. He was born at 8:24pm.

I am sad to admit that I couldn’t really focus on my sweet new boy right away. I know they put him on my stomach, because I have a picture of it, but I don’t remember much. After he came out, the Dr. delivered the placenta and then went to work stitching me up. I had 3 second degree tears. I was so completely exhausted, frustrated and ready to be done. The stitching up part was tough to take, and it took forever. I was shaking uncontrollably.

Dave focused on Truman and was able to cut his cord and give him his first bath. He was perfect, even with his extreme conehead! His apgar scores were 8 and 9. He weighed 7lb, 10.2 oz.

After I was all stitched up, I started to feel much better and was starving and THIRSTY! The nurse brought us some sandwiches, because the cafeteria was closed. After I ate, I breastfed Truman for the first time. He made some hunger gestures and latched on pretty well. It was a great start to our new life together, and I was finally able to check him out – all the fingers and toes.

Truman

We finally made it.

38w, 6d

4 days until our scheduled induction. I can’t believe we are so close.

Not much happening yet. I had a cervix check on Friday and the Dr. thought I needed a little prodding along. I spent about 3 hours at the hospital getting Misoprostol for cervical ripening. I have another check today and I’m hoping it did its job. Otherwise, I’ll be back there for another 3 hours this afternoon.

We spent the weekend wrapping up the last-minute projects that needed to be done before baby arrives. All we have left to do is put the infant seat in the car and clean the house! Our bags are (mostly) packed and we are ready to go. C’mon little one!

It started snowing yesterday and is still snowing right now. It looks like a winter wonderland outside. I’m not a big fan of snow usually. I think it’s pretty, but it gets in the way of a lot of things. I worry about our car and accidents, things like that. But it is Atticus’ first snow! I’m hoping to dress him up in his bear suit and get some pictures!

Well, the little monkey is starting to fuss, so I better go entertain him. I’m going to try to post another belly shot before the end…

36w, 5d belly

36w, 5d

We have a date for induction. November 26th. 4 days shy of 40 weeks, and the day after Thanksgiving. I am both anxious and nervous.

It is so weird to know what day the baby will be coming. It seems so much closer than just thinking about how far along I am. In less than 3 weeks we will have another baby!

In a lot of ways I am more than ready to not be pregnant anymore. It hasn’t been as blissful as I imagined. That was probably naive, but I always thought I would really love being pregnant. There are things that I like about it… being able to let my belly hang out for the first time in my life is definitely high on the list! And of course, feeling him move is pretty amazing. But overall, I am uncomfortable, tired, grumpy and a little sore (hips). And oh so tired of having to get an injection every day! I long to sleep on my tummy again, and have a glass of wine (oh yes!).

But on the other side of that, I am pretty nervous about taking care of two babies. I want them both to feel love and I am afraid that my attention will be too divided. That will be my biggest goal/challenge. I am so attached to Finch right now and don’t want to lose that. I am snuggling him extra close lately and savoring it.

I’m also a little sad that in a few weeks I will no longer be pregnant. We’ve worked so hard to get here and this may be the only time I get to experience this. Even with all of its discomfort, I want to remember what it felt like to have a life growing inside of me.

I keep meaning to get another belly shot, but time just gets away from me. Hopefully I can get it together in the next few days. I don’t want to forget how round my belly is right now!

34w, 2d + Finch update

I’m sick. Being pregnant and sick is seriously not fun. Especially since I’m taking care of a 6 month old and Mommies don’t get days off. I’m SO tired and really just feel like lying around all day. I’m just hoping Finch doesn’t get it.

Things are going fine pregnancy wise. We have one more childbirth class to go to next week. It includes the hospital tour and I’m really looking forward to that for some reason. It will just be nice to know where we will be spending our time during the delivery and after.

I’ve been going for my twice weekly NSTs and they seem like a waste of time right now. No contractions and everything is looking good.

We had a meeting with our adoption worker yesterday and all I can think about is finalization now! All of our paperwork is done and turned in. We just wait for them to contact us to establish our adoption support, which they have up to 30 days to do. Once that’s done we can set the court date! It could be as soon as 4-6 weeks! Which, of course, is right around our due date.

We’ve been talking to our doctors and they are really pushing for an induction around the 39-40 week mark. It was something that I was really against for a long time, but I’m starting to think that maybe it would be the best thing. The reason they want to induce me is because I’m considered high-risk and they want to make sure that I am off the blood thinners long enough that I could get an epidural if needed. I am really torn about it though. Initially I wanted as little intervention as possible. Now, I just don’t know. I don’t want to be disappointed if we end up going that way. This could be the only birth I ever have and I don’t want to regret how it happened. Then again, I feel like the whole time we’ve been trying to get pregnant I’ve been willing to do whatever it takes, including taking whatever drug the doctors thought might work. It seems a little silly to now say – no drugs!

Then there is the timing of birth and our adoption finalization. Oh, what a horrible problem to have (sarcasm, of course!). If we don’t go with the induction, it could put a kink in when we could schedule the court date. If we do, then we could most likely pick a date in mid-December and be fine. D and I are going to discuss it soon and try to come to some kind of decision.

So many choices and I feel a bit of pressure about making the right one. This “mommy guilt” thing, I could really do without it.

33w, 0d

7 weeks till D-day, people. I’m sure everyone is getting tired of hearing how fast it’s going, but SERIOUSLY. It’s going fast!

I had to start non-stress tests two times a week from here on out. Yesterday was the first one. It’s kind of fun to listen to the baby’s heartbeat for a while, but I can see how this is going to get boring really quickly. Not to mention that they were 30 minutes late bringing me back. Urgh. Hopefully they will be a little more prompt next time. Everything looked good though.

We have our second of four childbirth classes tomorrow. Our first one went well and I’m looking forward to the rest. It was fun to meet others with babies due around the same time. One couple had the same due date. The first class was just some general information about pregnancy, so I’m anxious to get more in-depth about labor. We’ll also get a hospital tour at some point.

Pregnancy wise, things are going pretty well. Still not sleeping great, but it seems to have gotten a little better this week. I think I’m just so tired I’m sleeping much heavier. I feel pretty groggy in the mornings. No major issues and hoping to keep it that way. Baby has been kicking like crazy and is currently in the head down position. We are really looking forward to meeting him soon!

Finch is doing great too. He has started babbling a ton this week. He seems to really like the “G” sound. It’s so cute! He’s been a lot more active too and I’m struggling with keeping him entertained all day. He gets a little bored, and I just don’t have the energy (33 weeks pregnant, imagine that!) to fully engage him all day long. I will be glad when D gets to stay home with us after baby’s arrival and Finch will have someone more exciting to hang out with for a while!

As for the adoption…we have the paperwork and a meeting with the adoption attorney on Friday. We are just waiting to hear back from the adoption worker to schedule a meeting with us. It’s moving along! Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that we can finalize before the end of the year. I’d really love that.

30w, 6d

Things are starting to get serious around here. Tomorrow starts the single digit week countdown to our due date! I had my regular OB appointment today and I am starting non-stress tests 2x per week in two weeks. I will also start having weekly OB appointments then too. That’s a lot of appointments. The fun part is trying to figure out what to do with Finch while I’m there.

We start our childbirth classes next week. I’m actually looking forward to those. I’ve read everything I can get my hands on in the WTE book and a few others, but I just feel a little…hmmm…unprepared. Giving birth is something I never really let myself think about all these years of trying. It was too hard to imagine when we couldn’t even get through the first trimester. So now that it’s a reality, I’m a little nervous. I’m sure that’s normal, but yikes.

Also, my mom is throwing us a baby shower! I’m really excited about it. At first I felt a little funny about it. Mostly because we had a foster/adopt shower about a year ago, just before we got our foster license. I wasn’t sure it would be appropriate to have another one, especially since we are having another boy. But it seems like people are interested in celebrating with us and that makes me really happy.

30 weeks + Finch news

Wow. Wow. Wow.

It seems to have snuck up on me a bit. 30 weeks just sounds REALLY pregnant. I guess I’m starting to feel REALLY pregnant. Especially in the middle of the night when sleep is eluding me and I can’t get comfortable to save my life… but I am SO incredibly grateful to be here.

Thank you to those who commented on my last post. It was something I’ve been struggling with for a long time and it was time to get it out there. I feel like I am slowly letting go of those old protection mechanisms and that is a big one. I certainly don’t want to sound ungrateful though. Because that is what I am above all else. Grateful, beyond words.

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In Finch news… we have a TOOTH! Last week he was waking up at night again and then Friday night we were up most of the night with him. Finally on Saturday morning we discovered the little tooth popping through his gums. Poor baby! Aside from being up a lot, he handled it really well though. Better than I would, I’m sure. He seems to be feeling better now and is back to sleeping through the night. Along with the tooth came a stuffy/runny nose. I’ve read some things that say that is a sign of teething. He doesn’t seem to have any other symptoms of illness, so I hope that’s all it is. Between the constant drooling and steady drip of his nose, his poor little face has been quite the mess!

A fear of happiness

Do you ever feel like being too happy will jinx you somehow?

During our struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss I would try not to get too excited about any progress made, because it seemed like everytime I did something would happen to take it all away. Each positive pregnancy test was followed by excitement and then quickly by intense fear. It is hard, so very hard to to get past this feeling.

I’m afraid to be too happy. Like something is going to find out and come crash our party.

I’m going to say it… life is good right now (cringe).

This pregnancy is going so well. I haven’t had any complications or major scares. Especially once we passed the first trimester. I feel the baby move every day and it provides reassurance about his existance. I am fairly confident that come the end of November/beginning of December we will have another sweet boy in our arms.

Our quest to adopt Finch is moving along. We have been incredibly blessed with such a wonderful, beautiful son. It’s seems so surreal sometimes.

I don’t want to temper our joy. I want to experience it deeply and fully. How do I move past the fear and learn to trust that life isn’t out to get me?

27w, 0d

Hello, 3rd trimester!!!

Things are still going along great here. Just watching my belly get bigger with each passing week. It is getting hard to miss now! I’ll have to have DH take another photo soon.

Not a lot to report really. I’m getting a little more uncomfortable (hip pain + insomnia), but generally feel pretty good. I love my belly. It’s so fun to feel the baby kick. I will miss that part when he finally gets here. Although, I am desperate for a good night’s sleep!

I go a month between my last OB appt (last week) and the next one. That’s the longest I’ve gone the entire pregnancy. They are keeping a pretty close watch on me with blood work, etc. I have to do a 24 hour urine collection this week. Sounds fun, right? I can’t even remember why I’m doing it.

We are spending time with friends and family in town this week. I love seeing Finch with all the people that love him. Most of our family lives out of town, so it means a lot when they are able to be here and share in this magical time in our lives. Life is good.